I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I didn't notice because vodka
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
