Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
