I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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