holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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