You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
