This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
