I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize