I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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