I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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