Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
