p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize