Where is the hickey?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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