I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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