At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
