Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
