Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
