I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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