Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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