they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
