Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
