honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
