One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
