3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
