I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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