I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
