You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
