I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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