): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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