i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
