I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize