we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
