I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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