So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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