i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
