you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
