Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
