I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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