honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
