What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
