Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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