S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize