the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
