Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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