Apparently you make a good broom.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
