...so i touched it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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