I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
