bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
