i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Everclear isn't food dammit
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
