Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she looked like the before picture.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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