There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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