oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
