Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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