this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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