dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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