My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
