i jhust puked up my retainher.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
