shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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