I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Shame is for Republicans.
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