I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
