So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
