I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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