I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
