so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
