you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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