To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
