You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
