he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Randomize
