dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
