I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
