I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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