no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
