my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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