So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
