And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
