You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
