The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
this hospital has no fireball
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
