Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
