what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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